Wow, really? Wait.. did you have dial up? Also, do you have a Facebook? [ not that he needs more friends noooo ]

[ 1995? Man, that's so long ago. Is he really interested? That almost sounds like a compliment. ]

If all we have to do is pretend like we're their kids then we oughta get what we want in no time! My not dad told me if I cleaned my room I could get ice cream.