[Pokey just calmly, or at least as calmly as he can, listens through what you have to say, Lucas. He just sits and listens, not even tapping his fingers or showing any other sign of possible annoyance he usually would shot. For once, Pokey really just listens.
And he lets silence hang for a moment before finally? He speaks.]
...There was a kid, when I first got here, that I met. And we...got along. I don't think this kid was as bad as me, though she did have a lot of my tendencies at least in outward behavior. But one thing she did that I didn't was actually try to engage other people, or at least me. So I worked with her on trying to get out, for a time.
...And for once? Things worked. What I wanted to happen actually worked. And each time I've worked with someone, it has gone well. And every time I've tried on my own? I've failed. If I want to get anywhere in this hole, I need to learn to balance myself. I need someone else to balance me.
[He pauses again. And then shakes his head.]
...No. It's not just that. It's not just convenience. Because even besides her, the people here just wouldn't...leave me alone. And even though I kept trying to think it was, it wasn't because they were trying to screw me, or ignore me, or think I was annoying. They...talked to me, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. And eventually...I couldn't ignore them. So I decided I'd just put up with them and...eventually it became more then just putting up with them.
Most of them are good people. And they don't deserve to be here. And no one deserves what was happening in the dairy. Well, maybe not no one, but they didn't. [He digs his fingernails into the wood of the table, tearing slightly.] And...I wish I had known how to be better to them earlier. To be like them, earlier instead of-[He just shrugs again, stopping himself.]
...I think it's when I found out about the dairy I really realized it. That I liked the people here. That they were my friends. Because there was only one thing, in the end, I could keep thinking of when I heard what they were doing to all the people I knew that were droned.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-03-31 04:17 am (UTC)And he lets silence hang for a moment before finally? He speaks.]
...There was a kid, when I first got here, that I met. And we...got along. I don't think this kid was as bad as me, though she did have a lot of my tendencies at least in outward behavior. But one thing she did that I didn't was actually try to engage other people, or at least me. So I worked with her on trying to get out, for a time.
...And for once? Things worked. What I wanted to happen actually worked. And each time I've worked with someone, it has gone well. And every time I've tried on my own? I've failed. If I want to get anywhere in this hole, I need to learn to balance myself. I need someone else to balance me.
[He pauses again. And then shakes his head.]
...No. It's not just that. It's not just convenience. Because even besides her, the people here just wouldn't...leave me alone. And even though I kept trying to think it was, it wasn't because they were trying to screw me, or ignore me, or think I was annoying. They...talked to me, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. And eventually...I couldn't ignore them. So I decided I'd just put up with them and...eventually it became more then just putting up with them.
Most of them are good people. And they don't deserve to be here. And no one deserves what was happening in the dairy. Well, maybe not no one, but they didn't. [He digs his fingernails into the wood of the table, tearing slightly.] And...I wish I had known how to be better to them earlier. To be like them, earlier instead of-[He just shrugs again, stopping himself.]
...I think it's when I found out about the dairy I really realized it. That I liked the people here. That they were my friends. Because there was only one thing, in the end, I could keep thinking of when I heard what they were doing to all the people I knew that were droned.