ceasetoexist | Entries tagged with !phone

[Man, guess who is just trying to control the fact that he's seething angry at this point.]

I live right next to her.

Anyone want to help tear that stupid friggin' banner off?

[Phone]
[There's a small, throat-clearing sound on the other end of the phone before Pokey finally begins to speak.]

I found something in the ghost town that opened up during the fight with that stupid robot. You jerks have fifteen seconds to get a pen and paper, because when I start reading? I'm not stopping.

Alright. Hope you're ready, cause here we go.

[And Pokey will proceed to recite what's written on this note. He goes at a moderate pace, not super fast but not particularly slow or meticulous either. He doesn't stop, aside from one time. He pauses a bit before the last paragraph, and that one he reads noticeably slower then the others. And then a short pause after he finishes.]

I hope you losers caught all that, or at least one of you did, cause I don't want you bugging me to repeat.

[Filtered to Legion of Doom Members]

Alright listen up. The Riddler's droned, probably not for good, but we should probably elect someone to act as an impromptu leader with him gone if he hasn't done so already.

That being said, I'd actually like to do something now that we're settled down after all the bullcrap of the last few weeks. We were supposed to have a meeting last week but, uh, oops, understandably that didn't happen. So I suggest we have one this week, or try to. If no one else can host it, we can use my place because there's only drones here aside from myself, so if you have family members you don't want finding out about this, you don't have to.

I also want to suggest that everyone brings some kind of list of what they saw, what happened, and who they met during this mess. It's going to be best to try and understand this crap from all angles and, because of the mess it was, if any of us have info on the other people in this town we're stuck with, it'd be a good idea to get it out now so we can compile it in case we have to go against these jerkoffs sometime.

[Filtered to Mindy]

Hey squirt. I just...wanna make sure you're alright, after all that went down last week. That's all. Just making sure you didn't go and somehow get hurt.

[A pause. And then, he asks, slowly.]

...You wanna do something today? Like play a game?

[And after these phone calls, Pokey prepares to put the phone up. And stops. And for a long moment, he hesitates between putting it up and dialing one last number.

In the end? He chooses to dial that number.]

[Filtered to Lucas]

[When Pokey starts speaking, his voice is low. Trying to force calm. Struggling to say what he's trying to say.]

Stup-

Pig's bu-

Lucas.

[It was a struggle just to get your actual name out. THink that was hard? It's even more strained when he says the next part. Strained, and somewhat angry, but oddly enough? There's an odd sincerity in his tone. He means it.]

What you said about other people. About needing them. About some of them actually being good.

You were right.

I was wrong.

[And he just stops. He'll stay on the phone for a moment or two, waiting for a reply. And if none comes, he puts the receiver down.]

So. Okay.

I can't be the only one finding this hysterical, right? I mean you all do get what's going on?

It doesn't really matter which one we choose, we're getting used. It doesn't really matter if we pick Lucy or the Postman or whatever. We're just being screwed around with either way for the other to get what they want.

And you know? Even if we do pick the Postman? No guarantee we get to go home, or leave, or whatever. As far as we know what the guy summons may be something just to kill all of us. Lucy's a godawful little witch, but at least we know where we stand with her most of the time.

Really, I just think it's going to be awesome to see what happens next. So, which one of the two are you morons going to let yourself be tugged around by and side with?

[Phone]

....Do you really think they're going to actually send us home or help us in any way? Think about it. If there really was that chance, the guy offering it would've been stopped cold. Your idiots if you honestly think this isn't another friggin' scam again. Because, you know, I am just overwhelmed with excitement to try this again after frickin' Christmas.

Are you people really just that desperate you're going to believe what this schmuck is selling?

[Action]

[You can find Pokey wandering around town today. However, instead of the obnoxious strut he usually carries himself with, he actually looks subdued. Hell, his head is actually down most of the time while he's walking.

And what seems like aimless wandering at first soon seems to form a pattern. He stops at certain locations: houses of people he knows (or houses that used to have people he knew), certain spots in the roads, stores. And just stands there. And stares for a moment. At what, and why, who knows. But he'll stay there for a few moments at each location before eventually moving on.

And he'll do that from the morning until near sunset. When evening finally falls, he can be found sitting on top of his mech on the front lawn of his house, ballet in hand.

Just staring it down.]

Hey, you know what I love? Being droned for a week and a half for absolutely no friggin' reason. No. That's just great.

Anyway, I'm bored, so lets play a game. Got a riddle for you. Well, I guess it's more like a logic puzzle then a riddle, but they're close enough to be the same thing. Whatever. So here it is:

Three duelists are standing off against one another. Technically, everything about each duelist seems similar: each has a gun and is the same distance apart from the others. Despite this, each duelist has a different possibility of hitting his opponents. Duelist A has a 90% chance of firing and hitting either oppoennt. Duelist B, however, only has a 60% chance of firing and hitting an opponent.

You are Duelist C. You have a 30% chance of firing and hitting either opponent. You can't run; running will have both of them automatically draw their guns on you. So you have to stay and do something. So, the question is who do you fire at in order to survive?

[At first, there's just silence over the phone, like someone knocked it over and forgot to put the receiver back up. Finally, after a few moments of this and of fake starts, Pokey finally speaks.]

So, with all the stupid age crap going on, I got a question for you people.

If you could stay one age, forever, would you? Or would you choose to keep aging?

Because, I mean, why wouldn't you want to stay the same age, right? I mean, it's pretty much immortality, and you wouldn't really miss out on anything by not getting older or anything. Really, you'd be doing better then them, right? So yeah.

Sorry, stupid question. Because it's not like anyone WOULDN'T take immortality when given the option. Because everyone would choose immortality.

Right?

[He blinked his eyes as he woke up. Once. Twice. Again. He was in bed? He didn't remember going to bed. The last thing he remembered was...

Oh, for the love of Christ. He honestly didn't know what surprised him more at the moment: the fact he'd managed to get killed twice over two weeks, or the fact that this most recent death didn't bother him as much as the last. Not to say it didn't bother him; having his throat slit wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. But at least it was quicker then being beaten to death or caught by the hazmats and set on fire. So he just sits and stews in his bed for a moment before heading to his phone. And when he gets there, he puts on the most faux-cheery voice he can muster.]

Hi, this is to the lady I had a small run in with yesterday!

You know something lady? I really, really just want to apologize! I admit I might have been out of line when I got so angry at you for entirely invading my personal space despite being asked to leave about three times and continued to watch what I was doing. I know you were probably just curious as to what I was making. So I just wanted to put out a heartfelt apology for hitting you in the head with a wrench. I'll admit I was entirely out of line doing that, if you'll admit you were out of line when you slit my friggin' throat!

[And he'll just slam the receiver down at that. And then he mulls, and agonizes over something for a moment. He really, really shouldn't do this, because he doesn't care about any of them. He hasn't REALLY worked with any of them or known them. So it shouldn't be any of his concern. ...But for some reason, he can't help it. He has to tell them.]

[Filtered to the KND]

Hey. Geniuses. Got a warning for you. There's someone you need to look out for. [And here goes a generic description of GLaDOS]. The woman's crazy. Just thought I'd let you morons know before one of you goes and gets yourself killed interacting with her.

[Filtered to Tak's Communicator]

Get over here when you can. Think we've got the time to start getting Josephine use to you so you can start learning to pilot her. After that, we're headed to the post office.

( Drama Goes Here )

[Filtered from the Mayor/Grady/Drones/ect.]

[Pokey’s voice is unbelievably small. Shaken. Terrified. Pretty much any of the bluster, or agitation, or smarminess it usually contains has been utterly wiped away. In its place is the voice of a scared, helpless twelve year old.]

I don’t know who’s still out there. Or here. Whatever. I don’t care who you are, or what you think or do. Just talk with me. About something. Anything. Please.

[Filtered to Tak’s Communicator]

[This call goes out about a hour or two after the first. Hope you got that personal communicator you were talking about earlier on you, because Pokey’s going to be calling it, Tak. His voice, instead of being scared or little, is instead simply dead. The bluster and smarminess and all the factors that generally make Pokey sound like Pokey are gone, but so is pretty much anything else that could be in his voice. He’s just dead. And get ready for one of the funniest things you’ve ever heard, Tak.]

If you’re dead or hurt, I’m going to kill you.

[As he goes about his day today, something seems odd about Pokey. Almost off, if you will. Instead of his usually slow, grumbling, unhappy pace, he seems to be walking fairly briskly. Not only that, he seems to be....greeting people as he goes about whatever it is he's doing?

Screw horrible radio broadcasts and the hazmats, Pokey actually seems happy at the moment. You would almost think he'd managed to get his stupid ass droned, if not for the fact that he maintains his usual tone, although slightly cheerier.

There are several ways to run into him today.]

A. On The Streets

[Again, Pokey is just bouncing with good cheer today, and seems eager to share it. He'll openly great you on the streets today, among other things. Other things he could be doing at the moment? If you look like you need a hand with something, Pokey'd be happy to come help. Or, oh, is that litter? He'll actually clean that shit up. Later in the day, you'll also find him carrying several sheets of cardboard back home with him. Feel free to bother him then too. Feel free to bother him while he's doing one of many semi-helpful services around town or coming to greet you.]

B. At School

[Who cares if there's roving gangs of obviously dangerous men under Grady's control at the moment? School is still school. Which is amazing, considering how often Pokey tends to play hooky. He's unusually attentive in class as well, instead of his usual tendency to just sleep through courses. And much like his on the streets entry, he'll be doing his best to help others: picking up crap, offering to help other kids with their books even if he doesn't know them yet, ect. Feel free to bother him during any of these helpful shenanigans.]

C. Decorating His Yard

[Around early evening, 502 Ricardo Street's front lawn is going to begin to become slightly more colorful. Horribly so. It seems Pokey decided to try and put all that cardboard he had in the first option to good use and try to make Halloween decorations for the front yard with it, such as cut-outs of pumpkins and zombies and witches and yada yada yada. They're...not particularly good. In fact, a blind monkey could have probably made them better. But he's clearly still happy with it as he tries to get his yard set up for Halloween.]

D. Phone

[Pokey's voice, while clearly not droned, is still incredibly enthusiastic, almost bubbling. He's also stupidly left if unfiltered.]

Okay, so we have like, a week and a half to Halloween. And I don't know about you folks, but all this crap with the "Russian" and the radio broadcast and whoever these jokers in the suits are?

Not letting it ruin my holiday. Nope.

Cause the thing is, bad junk happens to us all the time. Constantly. So you know what? Forget about the costs. Halloween only comes around once a year, and I'm not letting some jerkwads ruin this one time of the year for me. You all can, that's fine. But I intend to enjoy the holiday the way it was meant to be.

[There's some fumbling and then childish grumbling as the phone receiver is picked up and then promptly dropped. It's a moment before the phone is picked up.]

Filtered from the Drones/O'Grady/ect.

Okay, so two questions. Do, uh, freaky friggin' accidents happen around that family all the time?

And, uh...if one of those accidents did happen to you, does anyone know if there's anyway to....uh...I guess let's say something got...cut off? Anyway to get that back, cause I'd kind of like to be able to hold things in my right hand again!

So yeah, I've heard there are "magic users" who could heal junk like this. Are there anyone who can, and how much would it cost?

[Filtered to Mindy]

Hey squirt, you ended up getting separated from me at the party.

[A small pause.]

You okay?

[Filtered to Tak]

The freakshow with the bat. He ever show up at your house or anything?

[Well Pokey has had a busy week. Tripping balls over hallucinogenic gas. Bothering a bunch of people and running through their yards as he tried to get away from his hallucination. Getting beaten to death. Beating to death the drone of the person who beat him to death. Getting droned for beating that person to death.

Needless to say, getting killed and then killing someone in the span of a few days has brought a question to mind.]

Hey. Yeah. I’m curious.

Like I know we don’t die here, not really since we come back…what do you all think happens to us after we really do die? Like, do you believe in a Heaven and Hell and all that jazz, or something else, or nothing at all?

So.

Is anyone really stupid enough to buy into this garbage about buying cereal?

Please. Please say no.

[There's some grumbling at first as the phone comes off the hook and the sound of fingers tapping on a desk before Pokey starts sneaking.]

Well, since it's just my friggin' luck that I broke my leg, I guess I'm stuck in the house again. So, you know what? Decided I'm going to tell you all a story and see what you think of it. It's a stupid story, cause I made it when I was super friggin' young and crap, but I ain't got anything to do.

So, anyway, it's a story about brothers.

( Once upon a time... )

[There's a pause for a moment.]

Pfft, jeez, sorry. I didn't notice just how much that sucked. Like I said, I was pretty young and friggin' stupid when I wrote that stupid thing so there you go. Almost feel bad about forcing you people to listen to that garbage. Anyone else got any better bedtime stories?

( Filtered to Frances Fullbright/Numbah 86 )