Horrible Mutilation Is Funny

[ceasetoexist]

[There's some fumbling and then childish grumbling as the phone receiver is picked up and then promptly dropped. It's a moment before the phone is picked up.]

Filtered from the Drones/O'Grady/ect.

Okay, so two questions. Do, uh, freaky friggin' accidents happen around that family all the time?

And, uh...if one of those accidents did happen to you, does anyone know if there's anyway to....uh...I guess let's say something got...cut off? Anyway to get that back, cause I'd kind of like to be able to hold things in my right hand again!

So yeah, I've heard there are "magic users" who could heal junk like this. Are there anyone who can, and how much would it cost?

[Filtered to Mindy]

Hey squirt, you ended up getting separated from me at the party.

[A small pause.]

You okay?

[Filtered to Tak]

The freakshow with the bat. He ever show up at your house or anything?

Comments

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

Oh my, are limbs being removed again? I could build a replacement one.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I...guess?

Just fingers for me. Everything but my thumb and pointer on my right hand.

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

Fingers aren't difficult to replace. But I'll need materials. Are you capable of getting a few things for me with your good hand?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Whoa. Whoa. Let's back up a minute.

What do you want in return?

[dodo-master.livejournal.com]

They cut off you handy? What in the world? What sort of party WAS that?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Not the full hand. Just three of my fingers.

A stupid one. It sucked even before the mutilation came up.

[dodo-master.livejournal.com]

How rude. And strange! How did you managed to lose them?

There might be someone in town who can fix it for you, but you should at least see a doctor in the meanwhile.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

They just...got cut off when I was talking to that stupid housewife or whatever. I dunno. Then they were just...gone.

Yeah, yeah, I got that part taken care of. I'm fine there.

[child-abuser.livejournal.com]

Dyin' usually does the trick.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

....That the only way?

[child-abuser.livejournal.com]

Unless you find somebody with healing magic, yeah.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Oh come on! You too, old man?

[Filter]

[insectoidalien.livejournal.com]

Unless it's possible to accidentally COMMIT SUICIDE VIA ELECTROCUTION, I'm fairly certain there's more to this than the Smith party just radiating bad luck.

[pause] No, why?

[Filter]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

No kidding. ...Is...did you see that, or did it happen to you?

He gave me one, but that was kind of expected. [A beat.] Just curious, really.

[Filter]

[insectoidalien.livejournal.com]

It happened to me. My body moved on its own. [Her sentences come in short clips, almost like she's unnerved. Invaders are never scared though seriously.]

Again? What happened this time?

[Filter]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Psionics, maybe? ...You going to be alright now?

Broke into my room, tried suffocating me with a pillow for awhile. Took the bat back, told me his name was "Lil Slugger", then left.

[friendly-ghosts.livejournal.com]

Umm... The mean boy threw cake at me but then I found Daddy there and it was okay.

What about you?

[Oh, she has no idea...]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[She didn't catch the first part and what it meant? Really? That's-

..Alright, actually, that's probably good.]

I'm fine.

You still having your party tomorrow?

[friendly-ghosts.livejournal.com]

[She brightens right up at the mention of her party.]

Yeah! Mommy is helping me decorate and there'll be cake and ice-cream and stuff.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Five dollars for each finger. Twenty if it's the whole hand.

[What was the extent to which Porky was willing to swallow his pride? He didn't accept healing for free last time, but after his little trip with the gas, Lucas was more determined than ever to . . . well he wasn't sure anymore what the goal was. All he knew was that he couldn't just leave Porky alone.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[There's a pause Lucas. A long one.]

Deal.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I hope you kept them. Somewhere cool, preferably.

[There is a rush of adrenaline -- He isn't sure if he's excited, vindicated, or what. Porky has accepted his help. Hah.]

[relaxiamadoctor.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I missed whatever happened. Are you in need of medical assistance?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Not anymore. Got someone to reattach them.

[relaxiamadoctor.livejournal.com]

What happened to cause your dismemberment?