ceasetoexist | Winter is For Snowball Fights

Entry tags:

Winter is For Snowball Fights

[Pokey may not be a Christmas person, but by God, he is most certainly a winter person.

Today if you're passing by the park, you can find the little psycho running around, building up a rather large mound of snow in front of himself. He doesn't appear to be doing much else at first, just diligently building that mound up which, considering he currently only has one hand to work with, takes some time and dedication. But he is just happy as hell to do it anyway, apparently, grinning the entire time. This is the (A) event you can feel free to catch him on.

Now comes some real fun with the (B) event. Now that his mighty little mountain has been constructed, it's time for Pokey to begin his assault. Specifically? He's tossing a snowball at anyone who walks by. It really doesn't matter who you are or what you're doing. Just moving past him and his glorious Mount Asshole is enough to earn you a snowball to the face. Have fun dealing with that crap anyway you can.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Out doing whatever the hell it is he does when people aren't watching. Most likely, he's heading toward the pond to see how frozen it is after a semi-eventful day of clobbering drones in secret. He's wearing a jacket and one of those stupid hats with the earflaps. He can't stand it but it was the only thing he could find in his closet as far as hats go. But with the bat slung over his shoulder, he's clearly recognizable.]

[He prepares to spring at his opponent, trusty snowball in hand and then-

Shit.

Hesitation. Just hesitation right now. He really, really wants to throw a snowball at you Slugger. It is just tempting as all hell. But at the same time, he doesn't really want to be possibly beaten to death. He just has to decide which he wants more.

......

Fuck it. Throwing the snowball at you.]

[It strikes its target. Square in the side of the head.

Slugger pauses mid-step but nothing more, not even a startle or a move to brush off the snow. Nearly three full seconds pass before he slowly, ominously turns in the direction of the snow hill.]

[And Slugger'll catch the sight of a fat, blue kid trying to scramble behind the mound. Shit. Shit. This was a baaaaaad idea.]

[A flash of blue ducking down behind the snow pile does not go unnoticed. Do you really think you can hide, Pokey~? Do you?! Slugger takes his time in striding up to the snow fort. He then ducks down and sneaks up to the opposite side of the wall where he rolls some snowballs of his own.

It's awfully quiet right now. He hopes you're finished pissing yourself back there because a pair of snowballs, plus two more, are dropping from the sky onto your side of the barricade.]

[Oh shit, oh God, what is the psycho going to do? Oh Jesus, please let me...

Oh. Snowballs. Hitting him on top of the head. Okay. Hell, we can do snowballs.

He'll just smile for a minute, packing another one, before starting to throw snowballs back.]

[Pokey may notice a lack of return-fire. This is because Slugger, on his side of the wall, is packing his efforts into a snowball the size of a small watermelon. Sure, he gets pelted on the back of the head a few times, but its just more snow for his project.

Soon he's rolling it up the side of the barricade toward the top where he plans to push it over and onto your head. He has a good idea of whereabout you are, but to be sure, he has to flatten down and carefully risk peeking over...]

[Yeah, not noticing you, Slugger. He's too busy snickering to himself and working on rolling more snowballs to use to look up above him. You got yourself a pretty clear shot, son.]

[It can't get any sweeter than this. Slugger's grin threatens to split his face in two as he quietly moves the snowmelon into position directly above the unsuspecting victim's head. He gives it a light shove and then it's bombs away...]

[And just as quickly, Pokey's head is utterly covered in snow. Hell, he sounds like some of it got in his throat and he's practically gagging from it. After he finally gets all that shit wiped away from his face, he is just going to glare his fat little ass off at you Slugger.]

Bastard.

[Glare it up. Slugger's just going to grin down at you, amused. Care to retaliate?

Also, he's noticed something a bit peculiar about you, Pokey, and it might have sparked his interest. Expect to be harassed.]

[Oh, he's just going to make the biggest friggin' snowball ever. Oh, you thought that was cute? Just you wait. Icy vengeance will be his.

It'll just take him awhile, since he's working with one hand. Also? He expects you to just stay there, for some stupid reason.]

[And while you do that, he'll gladly sweep snow off the top of this mound he's laying on and down onto you with his hand.

Oddly enough, he is just staying there. It's the best place to see what you're doing, Pokey, and more specifically, how you're doing it.]

[Oh, you just think you're so funny, don't you? Well, get ready, cause Pokey's got a hand full of snow and he isn't afraid to use it.

Too can play at this game, you asshole, and he's got one of those watermelon sized balls himself. And here it comes at you! ...Incredibly, incredibly clumsily, considering he's throwing it one handed.]

[It doesn't hit him, at least not directly. But it does explode all over when it hits nearby.

Slugger shields his face and goes sliding back down to his side of the snow barricade where he'll be sitting at the bottom trying to shake the snow out of his sleeves, dammit.]

[Oh, the tables have turned moderately-possibly! He'll just start shoveling snow onto you now, Slugger.]</small. Yeah! How you like it, ugly!

[Alright. This conflict has been upgraded to battle! Slugger does what he does best, that is -- CHEAT, and vanishes easily into the wall of snow behind him. He has every intention of sneaking up on you from behind.]

[Oh, he kind of remembers this back from when he was chasing you with Josephine when he first got it back. He didn't know how you got away originally, but he's kinda figuring it's some kind of trick.

He doesn't know exactly how he's going to avoid this, but he's immediately going on the defensive. As in being paranoid, and trying to see wherever you are, hoping to catch you when you reappear.]

[Initiating paranoia sequence: phase 2!

A hand bursts from the snow and is suddenly latched to your ankle. Bet you've never had a snowball fight like this before. Unless it was in a graveyard with zombies?]

[Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

Yeah, he's screaming and trying to flail out of your grasp, which really only succeeds in forcing him onto the ground. But goddamn, if he doesn't want you to stop touching him, Slugger.]

[Then you're going to love what he does next. As soon as you're down, he lets go, but only for the second-and-a-half it takes him to emerge from the snowbank and, more or less, sit on you with one knee.

Now grabbing for your arm, he's determined to pull back the coat sleeve and presumably reveal... a stump. Curiosity compels him! Feeling violated yet, Pokey?]

[Well fuck, he's pinned and he knows it, so getting out of this? Not too likely.

He'll struggle some. Hell, he still doesn't want you on top of him Slugger. But at the same time? When you go for the hand, he'll just let you uncover it. He doesn't care if you know it's a stump or not. He'd been hiding it for other people's sake.]

Oh wow, you uncovered the friggin' riddle of the Sphinx. You must be so proud.

[He is not humiliated he is not humiliated he is not blinking back a few tears from embarrassment dammit!]

[Slugger releases the arm and climbs off. He doesn't appear to have noticed the tears, or if he has, his face remains blank. He's about to ask what happened but, at the last moment, settles on a different way of asking.]

Post-office?

Yep.

[Pokey just starts to right himself, dusting the snow off of him. Hell, no point covering the hand right now.]

Was it worth it?

Winter is For Snowball Fights

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)