Pokey Minch (
ceasetoexist) wrote2010-12-14 10:46 am
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Winter is For Snowball Fights
[Pokey may not be a Christmas person, but by God, he is most certainly a winter person.
Today if you're passing by the park, you can find the little psycho running around, building up a rather large mound of snow in front of himself. He doesn't appear to be doing much else at first, just diligently building that mound up which, considering he currently only has one hand to work with, takes some time and dedication. But he is just happy as hell to do it anyway, apparently, grinning the entire time. This is the (A) event you can feel free to catch him on.
Now comes some real fun with the (B) event. Now that his mighty little mountain has been constructed, it's time for Pokey to begin his assault. Specifically? He's tossing a snowball at anyone who walks by. It really doesn't matter who you are or what you're doing. Just moving past him and his glorious Mount Asshole is enough to earn you a snowball to the face. Have fun dealing with that crap anyway you can.]
Today if you're passing by the park, you can find the little psycho running around, building up a rather large mound of snow in front of himself. He doesn't appear to be doing much else at first, just diligently building that mound up which, considering he currently only has one hand to work with, takes some time and dedication. But he is just happy as hell to do it anyway, apparently, grinning the entire time. This is the (A) event you can feel free to catch him on.
Now comes some real fun with the (B) event. Now that his mighty little mountain has been constructed, it's time for Pokey to begin his assault. Specifically? He's tossing a snowball at anyone who walks by. It really doesn't matter who you are or what you're doing. Just moving past him and his glorious Mount Asshole is enough to earn you a snowball to the face. Have fun dealing with that crap anyway you can.]
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Also, he's noticed something a bit peculiar about you, Pokey, and it might have sparked his interest. Expect to be harassed.]
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It'll just take him awhile, since he's working with one hand. Also? He expects you to just stay there, for some stupid reason.]
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Oddly enough, he is just staying there. It's the best place to see what you're doing, Pokey, and more specifically, how you're doing it.]
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Too can play at this game, you asshole, and he's got one of those watermelon sized balls himself. And here it comes at you! ...Incredibly, incredibly clumsily, considering he's throwing it one handed.]
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Slugger shields his face and goes sliding back down to his side of the snow barricade where he'll be sitting at the bottom trying to shake the snow out of his sleeves, dammit.]
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He doesn't know exactly how he's going to avoid this, but he's immediately going on the defensive. As in being paranoid, and trying to see wherever you are, hoping to catch you when you reappear.]
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A hand bursts from the snow and is suddenly latched to your ankle. Bet you've never had a snowball fight like this before. Unless it was in a graveyard with zombies?]
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Yeah, he's screaming and trying to flail out of your grasp, which really only succeeds in forcing him onto the ground. But goddamn, if he doesn't want you to stop touching him, Slugger.]
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Now grabbing for your arm, he's determined to pull back the coat sleeve and presumably reveal... a stump. Curiosity compels him! Feeling violated yet, Pokey?]
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He'll struggle some. Hell, he still doesn't want you on top of him Slugger. But at the same time? When you go for the hand, he'll just let you uncover it. He doesn't care if you know it's a stump or not. He'd been hiding it for other people's sake.]
Oh wow, you uncovered the friggin' riddle of the Sphinx. You must be so proud.
[He is not humiliated he is not humiliated he is not blinking back a few tears from embarrassment dammit!]
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Post-office?
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[Pokey just starts to right himself, dusting the snow off of him. Hell, no point covering the hand right now.]
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Yeah, okay, one: you can't "reformat" space-time. Two, like I'm friggin' telling you.
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I got you something.
[Digs in his coat pocket for a second before pulling out--
NOTHING! Except a middle finger. This trick is clearly ingenious.]
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Oh man that was a good one! Sure have never seen that before!
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What about this?
[It's a handful of snow to the face. Here you go!]