Nothing Rejuvenates you Quite like Death

[ceasetoexist]

[He blinked his eyes as he woke up. Once. Twice. Again. He was in bed? He didn't remember going to bed. The last thing he remembered was...

Oh, for the love of Christ. He honestly didn't know what surprised him more at the moment: the fact he'd managed to get killed twice over two weeks, or the fact that this most recent death didn't bother him as much as the last. Not to say it didn't bother him; having his throat slit wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. But at least it was quicker then being beaten to death or caught by the hazmats and set on fire. So he just sits and stews in his bed for a moment before heading to his phone. And when he gets there, he puts on the most faux-cheery voice he can muster.]

Hi, this is to the lady I had a small run in with yesterday!

You know something lady? I really, really just want to apologize! I admit I might have been out of line when I got so angry at you for entirely invading my personal space despite being asked to leave about three times and continued to watch what I was doing. I know you were probably just curious as to what I was making. So I just wanted to put out a heartfelt apology for hitting you in the head with a wrench. I'll admit I was entirely out of line doing that, if you'll admit you were out of line when you slit my friggin' throat!

[And he'll just slam the receiver down at that. And then he mulls, and agonizes over something for a moment. He really, really shouldn't do this, because he doesn't care about any of them. He hasn't REALLY worked with any of them or known them. So it shouldn't be any of his concern. ...But for some reason, he can't help it. He has to tell them.]

[Filtered to the KND]

Hey. Geniuses. Got a warning for you. There's someone you need to look out for. [And here goes a generic description of GLaDOS]. The woman's crazy. Just thought I'd let you morons know before one of you goes and gets yourself killed interacting with her.

[Filtered to Tak's Communicator]

Get over here when you can. Think we've got the time to start getting Josephine use to you so you can start learning to pilot her. After that, we're headed to the post office.

Comments

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

An AI.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

And your purpose is....?

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

To run the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre and Laboratories.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

And does that usually include slitting people's throats, or did you pick that up all on your own?

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

I don't usually have a body to do it. Usually I just let the neurotoxin get them.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah. You told me about that earlier.

I'm saying I wouldn't think "running a center" would also mean killing people.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Oh it usually doesn't.

But sometimes things go wrong.

It's easier to get rid of the problem then wait for it to halt progress.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

That....makes sense.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Of course it does.

Do you know much about machines then?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Quite a bit, yeah.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Really?

.....if you don't plan to hit me any more I'd like to hear about it.


....I could help you update your turret gun if you'd like.

[Because more knowledge trumps everything.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

You slit my throat yesterday, and now you're trying to make a trade with me.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

I only did it because you hit me.

[Sulks. She has the maturity of a child.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I hit you. I moderately inconvenienced you.

You killed me.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

You woke up the next day.

That's a moderate inconvenience.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Click.]

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

[Sighs]

Humans really are too emotional.

[Click.]