ceasetoexist | I can keep rhythm with no metronome

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I can keep rhythm with no metronome

[Good evening Mayfield, have a rather annoyed and tired little would-be child tyrant bitching over the phone.]

So, you know, I wasn't holding out much hope this place would be interesting in any way. But if there's one thing I like less then being kidnapped and forced into some crap-sack town, it's being made to go back to school and listen to some preachy, conformist junk.

...I'm bored. Let's play a game. It's a simple one for now: riddles. I'll start.

How do you control something you cannot touch, cannot comprehend, cannot hear, and cannot kill?

[There's a pause for a moment. It seems like he's waiting for answers until..]

Hey. Weird kid that called me the other day. The one who knows who I am. I want to talk with you again.

[Another pause. And when he speaks again, his voice is a hiss; not necessarily angry, but unpleasant as he swallows down his pride.]

Please.

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. . . OK.

Good. You and me got a lot to discuss.

We're playing question and answer time again, but this time? I'm the one asking questions.

...What are you? Are you human? Some kinda paradox clone or some bullcrap I sent to the past to warn me about something? Some kinda time-echo? What?

You think I'm your clone . . . ?

No. But I guess you did make me, in a way. I'm . . . I'm the one who's fated to bring about the destruction of my world.

Not a clone, precisely. More of a time-space reverberation. Maybe I set something in motion that reality gets pissed off at and tries to send me a message to tell me to knock it off.

That's bullcrap, for two reasons. One: fate doesn't exist. You make it your own path entirely in life. Two: even if I did "create" you, I'm out of the "world destroying biz". Tried once, it failed. Kinda sucked too. Don't see why I'd do it again.

...Maybe if I was ultra bored.

Do you really think fate doesn't exist? You and I know Ness's future. And I know your future. What would happen if those futures changed? Would we stop existing? I wouldn't mind. More than anything else in the world, I want to see the future change.

But imagine how you'll feel in ten million years if you're bored now . . .

Life is random chance, kid. A line of dominoes that have several different converging points. Sure, you start the first reaction of something, but it'll only go down one path of several possible. To say there's only one path, though, that's predetermined? Ridiculous.

No. We wouldn't stop existing. We'd probably just create a different reality. It wouldn't change whatever happens to wherever you're from, but it'd change something else perhaps. Convergence and separation. That's how reality works. Not fate.

And it's pretty damn unfair that you know my name, but I don't know yours. What do they call you, o ender of worlds?

But what if someone's there to make sure the dominoes fall down the right path? Just like somebody made sure that the world had to be destroyed in the end. But if there's one reality where King P. never invades my world, I'd be happy with it.

. . .

If we're talking fairness, I have every reason not to tell you my name.

What you're talking about would take trial and error to an absurd degree, kid. It's possible, but it isn't particularly likely.

...Really? King P? That's the best I could have come up with in "ten million years"? My God I get uncreative.

...So everyone in your world is dead then?

Pfeh. Fine. I'll just call you Hermes. Good enough name for a messenger I don't know, I guess. And appropriate for a god like me.

. . . You're a lot different than I remember. I don't know if I can even really dislike you all that much because of it. And not to be mean, but I think you go crazy, so creativity probably isn't your biggest problem.

I don't know. I didn't see what happened after.

. . . Maybe you're already a little crazy now.

Whoa, jeez kid. Don't get all sappy on me here, 'cause I don't give a crap.

...That'd make sense, as much as I hate to admit it. After about "ten million years", if I really do do this schtick that long, I guess I'd have run out of things to see and do.

How, exactly, do I get you to destroy the world? Just out of curiosity. I mean did I trick you, or what?

...Gonna be honest. I'm a jerk, but I ain't out to kill people ~~usually~~. So that kinda sucks to hear.

..Maybe. Who's to say, really?

. . . It's a bad idea to tell you exactly what happens in your future. I'm just gonna say that you managed it by making it the only option. Like the domino path.

So, um. Are you willing to change now?

Heh. Well, that sounds like me.

Change is a pretty big undertaking, Hermes. And to be fair? I still like doing what I'm doing. It's fun to raise hell. It's what I'm honestly WIRED to do.

...But I'll give it a try, not raising as much hell. We'll see how things go.

. . . Really? You're not just saying that?

Yeah. It'll be just like a game. There's a victory condition, and a loss condition.

After all, I don't know just how the game's going to go, either. Maybe I'll find ways to amuse myself that won't cause too much damage to people.

I'm just kidding.

I'll only keep it to property damage.

. . . . .

[Obviously, Lucas still doesn't trust Porky entirely or even at all, but it sounds as if he means it. And Lucas, of course, is the type to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Even the monster who ruined his life. Because, after all, this one hadn't done it yet, and if he really could get him to change . . . ]

Good. I guess that's all I can ask from you right now.

[If he's bothered or discouraged by the pause at all, he doesn't show it when he speaks again.]

Yeah. It is.

Cause this town took something from me, and like hell I'm going to let that stand.

Your Time Traveling thing? Even if you get it back, it probably won't work.

No, not the Distorter. I want-

....

Yeah. The Time Distorter. And it wasn't just a time machine. It was a mobile weapon platform, and it could analyze the environment and had my records on the places I'd been and seen and crap.

The Distorter is what I want back, and I will get it back.

. . . That's interesting. You'll just have to wait it out, then.

[Yeah right Porky how dumb do you think I am. Lucas makes a mental note to think about what it is that Porky is missing, although he has a few inklings. A framed yo-yo, perhaps, or maybe a movie of a group of four children set on full repeat.]

[Oh man did you see that? He totally pulled the wool over that kids eyes. Poor little sucker. No way he could know about the yo-yo anyway.]

I guess. Heard that random crap happens that, if we deal with it, we can get our stuff back.

This one of those events you think? With the communism bullcrap?

Uh-huh. That's what I mean -- Wait this out and you'll probably get something back.

((OoC: Do you know, Ness, Lucas, and Porky could all claim the yo-yo as a regain. I wonder what would happen.))

Ah.

Yeah, see. Just waiting around for something to happen and doing nothing? Not what I do.

[OOC:Dunno, but quite possibly hilarity.]

I can't believe I'm telling you to be careful. But, um. Be careful, I guess.

Careful isn't productive. Without risk, you can't really hope to gain much.

But thanks for the sentiment, misplaced as it is.

Hmmmm, giving it a body perhaps~

I suppose that would work if you could actually comprehend or touch it. But since you can't, how do you intend to give it a body?

One could always make a body in anticipation of it. While you are saying that we wouldn't be able to comprehend or touch it in the immediate sense, we are still aware of it, correct? By giving it a body, it could be comprehended and touched~

True. However, this being got the way it was by shedding its body. You would have to somehow craft form for something that inherently denies stable form.

Hmm, an intriguing prospect~ Perhaps we can discuss this further once our current situation is dealt with~

....

Listen, this was just a riddle, but you honestly think you could do something like that? Entrap the formless, I mean?

Given enough time and research, I don't see why not. I've given people new bodies before~ One of my patients had lost his original body and was comprised entirely of several hundred insects. I was able to transplant his mind to a new body~

......

[Fail Filter

How much do your services cost?

I'd have to investigate your case a little more and see what I will need~

...Would that require a checkup or anything, or can I just tell you what's wrong the best I can over the phone, or what?

You can tell me more here~ I just mean it may not be a good time to do it considering the current situation~ I cannot guarantee doctor patient confidentiality~

Logical enough. I'd like to get in touch with you when this blows over.

Can I get a name?

Well, Mayfield has me known as Fran Lajoie, but I'm properly Fran Madaraki~

Yeah, I've noticed it gives stupid new names.

Pokey Minch.

A pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr.Minch~

Likewise.

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I can keep rhythm with no metronome

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You should see the body Fran made for Judas

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