I feel guilty. I guess. I've wanted to see her again and now here she is but...it's like I've condemned her to a death sentence being her. What if she's here because I wanted it and the town knew it could use that to hurt me?
[Because of course, he is the center of everything and anything that happens must ultimately end in some way to punish him.]
[He wants to argue with her. To argue that she doesn't know and how he can't help but be afraid that his actions will punish the people he cares about. Has been afraid of it since Christmas two years ago when that was the delusion the town forced him under.]
I... [ It's the topic she's been skirting around, and the one she knew was inevitable, but she can't help wincing a little when it's finally brought up. ] Maybe. If you want.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:18 am (UTC)She isn't mine. She isn't anybody but her own, hopefully.
And she is. She's great.
I don't know if I'm happy she's back or not this is a filtered conversation between just us right?
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:20 am (UTC)Yeah, just between us.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:23 am (UTC)Sorry.
It's just really. Really really weird, okay? I know you didn't mean anything by it. I just.
[His voice cracks a little bit, but he takes a short sucking breath to steady it again.]
It's just weird.
[Because there's a lot of other things he wants to say on it. But won't allow himself to.]
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:25 am (UTC)Are you okay?
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:27 am (UTC)I don't know. I just-
I feel guilty. I guess. I've wanted to see her again and now here she is but...it's like I've condemned her to a death sentence being her. What if she's here because I wanted it and the town knew it could use that to hurt me?
[Because of course, he is the center of everything and anything that happens must ultimately end in some way to punish him.]
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:38 am (UTC)Yeah. Okay.
Are you okay?
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:45 am (UTC)I wouldn't worry, anyway. She sounds like she can more than handle herself.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:47 am (UTC)I'm sorry.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:50 am (UTC)I don't know.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:55 am (UTC)I can't help liking her as much as I do, okay? I just can't.It's not anything about you it's me and...
I don't know. Maybe I owe you an explanation. Or a talk.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 03:59 am (UTC)[He's trying. He's trying to be considerate and find some practical way to handle this and he just doesn't know how.]
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 04:00 am (UTC)I shouldn't have called, I think. Sorry.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 04:02 am (UTC)[He's not even sure what he's trying to say at the moment. He knows what it is he wants to get out but it's so hard.]
You didn't do anything wrong. It's all me, okay? It's all me. And I'm not worth caring about on this.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 04:07 am (UTC)Yeah. Okay.
See ya.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-13 04:12 am (UTC)[ And for the first time in like, ever, Jade Harley is the first to hang up. ]