Pokey Minch

 [Dealing with fear, or sorrow, or terror has always been a weak point for Pokey, which is sad since dealing with life in general has tended to be a weak point. In most instances, he tells himself that really, he wouldn't care about the executions. And that he doesn't care about them. After all, the great majority of the people on that list meant nothing to him. So he knows he doesn't care that they died. Why should he? People die all the time in stupid ways. There's no difference now.

...But that Prussia guy. He talked with him a bit, and he was pretty cool. In fact, he was nice to him, and that's rare. ..He feels bad about it, even though he knows he shouldn't because the guy probably would've eventually stabbed him in the back. He knows he should keep cool and just watch, because there's nothing he can do about it anyway. But at the same time...he's going to explode if he doesn't do something. So he does what he does best.

He aggravates. Over the phone line, you're going to hear a twelve-year old attempting the gruffest, most awkward Russian accent he can manage.]

Good morning, fellow comrades! I certainly hope you slept well, knowing that the Great Party Leader has no qualms butchering us at all for as little reason as possible! Did you not finish your impossible task? Dead. Did you finish your task, but we don't like your face? Dead. Are you human? Dead. I simply hoping you're getting the pattern here comrades! It fills me with comfort to know how practical and consistent our great party is! I'm thankful everyday for the party liberating us from the evils of capitalism, for it certainly isn't as if the form of government in our wonderful hellhole is more evil than any government it ever displaces! 

We should all listen to what the Party has to tell us as they lead us in to glory, no matter how ass-backwards or retarded what they say and do is! Its simply right that they believe we should be able to move mountains and call down thunder whenever we're asked to. How dare anyone use the excuse of being human to keep us from completing their tasks? What's that, you need proper nutrition? Screw that crap, you're some kind of superman now that you're here! You'd damn well better be able to do that!

And don't get me started on them protecting us from those damnable subversives! Lord-oh, I'm sorry, I can't really say that here, can I?-the Party Leader knows just how afraid I was of the children they killed! Can you imagine the devastation they could have caused? Unspeakable!

I hope my thoughts have been interesting comrades. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going back to my breakfast of jack crap.