I wanna take you for granted, yeah, yeah well I will - Phone

[ceasetoexist]

[Phone]
[There's a small, throat-clearing sound on the other end of the phone before Pokey finally begins to speak.]

I found something in the ghost town that opened up during the fight with that stupid robot. You jerks have fifteen seconds to get a pen and paper, because when I start reading? I'm not stopping.

Alright. Hope you're ready, cause here we go.

[And Pokey will proceed to recite what's written on this note. He goes at a moderate pace, not super fast but not particularly slow or meticulous either. He doesn't stop, aside from one time. He pauses a bit before the last paragraph, and that one he reads noticeably slower then the others. And then a short pause after he finishes.]

I hope you losers caught all that, or at least one of you did, cause I don't want you bugging me to repeat.

[Filtered to Legion of Doom Members]

Alright listen up. The Riddler's droned, probably not for good, but we should probably elect someone to act as an impromptu leader with him gone if he hasn't done so already.

That being said, I'd actually like to do something now that we're settled down after all the bullcrap of the last few weeks. We were supposed to have a meeting last week but, uh, oops, understandably that didn't happen. So I suggest we have one this week, or try to. If no one else can host it, we can use my place because there's only drones here aside from myself, so if you have family members you don't want finding out about this, you don't have to.

I also want to suggest that everyone brings some kind of list of what they saw, what happened, and who they met during this mess. It's going to be best to try and understand this crap from all angles and, because of the mess it was, if any of us have info on the other people in this town we're stuck with, it'd be a good idea to get it out now so we can compile it in case we have to go against these jerkoffs sometime.

[Filtered to Mindy]

Hey squirt. I just...wanna make sure you're alright, after all that went down last week. That's all. Just making sure you didn't go and somehow get hurt.

[A pause. And then, he asks, slowly.]

...You wanna do something today? Like play a game?

[And after these phone calls, Pokey prepares to put the phone up. And stops. And for a long moment, he hesitates between putting it up and dialing one last number.

In the end? He chooses to dial that number.]

[Filtered to Lucas]

[When Pokey starts speaking, his voice is low. Trying to force calm. Struggling to say what he's trying to say.]

Stup-

Pig's bu-

Lucas.

[It was a struggle just to get your actual name out. THink that was hard? It's even more strained when he says the next part. Strained, and somewhat angry, but oddly enough? There's an odd sincerity in his tone. He means it.]

What you said about other people. About needing them. About some of them actually being good.

You were right.

I was wrong.

[And he just stops. He'll stay on the phone for a moment or two, waiting for a reply. And if none comes, he puts the receiver down.]

Comments

[filtered]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I think you're probably right.

[This entire conversation still felt like a dream. How was he supposed to react to this? What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to feel? He had the thought, though, that he would find the right words if they were speaking face to face.

The Porky-that-would-be couldn't be so easily forgotten. But the Porky-that-was . . . If this was true, then for the first time, he could believe that they were no longer the same person.]

Would you like me to come over?

[filtered]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Another pause. Pokey wants to set the terms, because God knows that Pokey is, if anything, controlling. But this? Right here and now? ...He can't control this. He has to give you the ball, let it be in your court, Lucas. Because this feeling? This guilt? He can't really deal with it. And trying to really deal with this, beyond what he's already planning? He can't do it. It'd just add to it.]

....Your choice. You set the time and place, and I'll be there. It looks like we have the down time for it, for now.

[filtered]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

Maybe somewhere more open. Um. The park after lunch? Is that OK with you . . . ?

[When had he ever had actual, polite conversation with Porky?]

[filtered]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[When has ANYONE had polite conversation with Pokey? Truly this is a historical day.]

That's fine.

[And he'll be there when you get there, leaning his head on one of the picnic tables, tapping his fingers against the wood.]

[filtered]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas will spend the morning in a state of minor agitation and be absolutely unable to concentrate on anything. Thanks, Porky. Right after lunch, he'll run to his room to retrieve something before walking to the park.]

. . . Hi.

[In Person]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey Minch = causing irritation even when he doesn't mean to. He turns his head to Lucas before righting himself.]

.....Hey n-Lucas.

[Yeah, that's going to be an uphill fight to constantly get him to call you by your name. He just stares for a moment before running a hand through his hair and sighing.]

...I don't know how much I can REALLY answer for you, since there's still a difference between what I'm going to know and what I know now.

But anything you want to ask? [He grits his teeth once more, tensing, before he finally manages to get himself to say.] Go ahead, and I'll answer it. The best I can, anyway.

[Definitely In Person]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

I guess it's easier than asking your past self.

[He'll speak lightly, before glancing down at the table Porky is seated at. If he was going to do this, he may as well do it right.]

Do you mind if . . . ?

[The gesture he makes is pretty clear. Lucas will seat himself next to Porky if allowed, though still leaving a healthy few inches between them.]

[Definitely In Person]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey just shrugs and scoots a bit, so he can keep the distance between them. Yeah, Pokey has no problem with their still be distance between them.

He's still silent, though, for the moment. It's your show right now, and he'll just wait to see what you throw at him first.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas will simply sit quietly, his gaze directed slightly upwards. He doesn't think he can trust himself to look at Porky and still maintain a sense of calmness.]

You probably know by now, the way I feel about a lot of things. All of those things you think are worthless . . . I believed in them.

[His gaze will shift down now, his hands cupped loosely over his lap.]

When you were still . . . you. I needed to understand how someone could ever become like that. I guess, because . . . if you really believed that love or friendship or compassion were useless and stupid, then what I had always believed couldn't be right. Love is . . . the most important thing in the world, the thing that binds us all together and makes us whole. If you rejected it, then . . . at least for one person, it had failed. So I definitely needed to know, why.

But I think I can understand, now. Not exactly understand you, maybe, but . . . meeting different people here, from different worlds - Every single world has war. It was hard for me to believe, but . . . I think it must be true. Every single world has people who believe in fighting and hatred and war. So either I was really wrong, or I wasn't thinking about it the right way.

I guess I'm a little biased, but . . . I think I have a new idea. It's fine that there are people who believe that things like power or money are the most important things. It's fine, because . . . it just means they haven't ever had what was truly important. Or they haven't understood it. So if you haven't ever had or ever understood it, then . . . I can understand. Or at least, I couldn't blame you.

So . . . I don't think I have any questions. If you never tell me about your life with Ness or Jeff, or why you did the things you did, that's OK. I don't have to know. If you want to tell me anyway, I'll listen. . . . -- Oh. I guess I lied. I think I do want to ask . . . what finally made you change your mind. But you don't have to say that if you don't want to, either.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey just calmly, or at least as calmly as he can, listens through what you have to say, Lucas. He just sits and listens, not even tapping his fingers or showing any other sign of possible annoyance he usually would shot. For once, Pokey really just listens.

And he lets silence hang for a moment before finally? He speaks.]

...There was a kid, when I first got here, that I met. And we...got along. I don't think this kid was as bad as me, though she did have a lot of my tendencies at least in outward behavior. But one thing she did that I didn't was actually try to engage other people, or at least me. So I worked with her on trying to get out, for a time.

...And for once? Things worked. What I wanted to happen actually worked. And each time I've worked with someone, it has gone well. And every time I've tried on my own? I've failed. If I want to get anywhere in this hole, I need to learn to balance myself. I need someone else to balance me.

[He pauses again. And then shakes his head.]

...No. It's not just that. It's not just convenience. Because even besides her, the people here just wouldn't...leave me alone. And even though I kept trying to think it was, it wasn't because they were trying to screw me, or ignore me, or think I was annoying. They...talked to me, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. And eventually...I couldn't ignore them. So I decided I'd just put up with them and...eventually it became more then just putting up with them.

Most of them are good people. And they don't deserve to be here. And no one deserves what was happening in the dairy. Well, maybe not no one, but they didn't. [He digs his fingernails into the wood of the table, tearing slightly.] And...I wish I had known how to be better to them earlier. To be like them, earlier instead of-[He just shrugs again, stopping himself.]

...I think it's when I found out about the dairy I really realized it. That I liked the people here. That they were my friends. Because there was only one thing, in the end, I could keep thinking of when I heard what they were doing to all the people I knew that were droned.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[As Porky speaks, Lucas will eventually turn until he is looking, perhaps not directly at, but at least, past his face. Enough so that he can see the emotion expressed as Porky fumbles to put his thoughts into words. Lucas's own expression will slowly transform from careful neutrality into one of a sort of mixture of surprise and empathy. A brief scowl will darken his features at final sentence, before finally, he nods slowly in understanding.]

I don't know if you remember, but I think I said to you once . . . that my wish was that you could find that. To find people who could be your friends and show you what friendship was. I never thought it would work out so well.

. . .

Is there anything you want to ask me?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey looks over to the other boy, not really having as much trouble looking at Lucas as Lucas might have looking at him. He takes a deep breath before he speaks again.]

Yeah. I remember. It was our first conversation. That was about eight months ago now.



There is. But not right now. I don't-[Think I've earned it.] think I can really hear it, right now. There's a lot of other things I need to put my mind to, at the moment. And I guess...I'd feel...I don't know what it is. Guilt, I guess. I feel like I'd feel more guilty if I asked anything from you right now.

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . It might even be best if you never know.

[Lucas will turn his gaze back towards his lap and wait a few more moments to continue.]

I guess I'm not going to disappear or anything. I'd like to think a new world really has been made, though. If that's the case, then . . . you'll probably want this with you when you go home.

[He will unfold his hands now, pick up the object he'd been concealing and slowly pass it to the side. It is a familiar red yo-yo.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey takes a breath. A visible, big one, and holds it when he sees the yo-yo. Slowly, as if he's about to pick up something delicate and ethereal, Pokey brings his hand closer to it, gently folding his hand over it.

And then? Quickly, he takes his hand off and pushes it back towards Lucas, immediately averting his gaze, resting his chin on his other hand. He's silent a moment before he speaks again.]

Keep it. It's yours.

[From what little he does know? You probably went through more to get it, however you did, back at your home. And if he took it from you, even if he wants it, REALLY wants it...it'd just add up to the guilt he still has.

Guilt sucks. He hates it. And he's willing to make concessions now to keep it away from him.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[Lucas stares at the side of Pokey's head for a few minutes before retracting his hand slightly.]

You're sure? . . . It does belong to you.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Oh, and he does want it. He wants it bad, Lucas. But does he feel like he deserves it? Not really. Honestly, he doesn't feel like he deserves much of anything at the moment. Just an odd sense of guilt, and just sadness and irritation after discovering the truth about the dairy. And just the gnawing feeling that it should've been him instead of any of the others he knew that got droned.

But he can't say that, not to anyone and especially not to you. He just needs to find a way to alleviate some of his guilt, and even if it is his? It feels like he'd still be stealing from you. Whatever yyou went through to get it, you probably did more then he ever did. Is more deserving in general.]

....Sometimes you need to let things go. Or they eat you alive.

[And right now. This is the easiest thing he has to let go. And he says that still not looking at you, doing his best to hide the utterly beaten expression on his face from you.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . I see.

[How ironic that Porky would say something like that to him. Lucas will withdraw his hand the whole way, tucking the yo-yo back within his pocket. If Porky can feel that way about his most treasured possession . . . Well. No. It wasn't comparable. He wasn't obligated to return that feeling in kind. But he knew, of course, that the sentiments were true, had come to understand this within the first few months of Porky's arrival here.

That didn't mean, of course, that he had entirely been able to stop it from eating away.

Lucas does not notice Porky's expression. He's got a complicated one of his own working its way through all of the internal conflict that he's feeling at the moment. At the moment, predominantly . . . it is pity.]

Some things can be let go. Bad memories, bad feelings . . . But. Remember, when you're letting go, the things you ought to hold on to really tight, too.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey's just silent for a moment. Thinking, mainly. Because really, even after what he said, he already knows in the end he's going to be eaten away entirely. Really, by this point, the only thing he can hope to do is find some way to end whatever he had before he did get eaten entirely away, because if he kept going on like he was all he would do would be to speed up the process.

Pokey already knew the best way to stop it from getting to that point. Of course, he still wouldn't tell anyone, not yet at least if even ever, what that plan was. It wasn't like he could accomplish it here anyway.

Finally, weakly, Pokey says.]

Yeah. You're right.

[Before getting up and starting to move away. Pokey has to get away, or he's going to crack, and this whole conversation hadn't helped his guilt as much as he'd thought. How could it have, really, after all he'd done and what he would eventually do? Let alone the fact that he, apparently, had survived here when there were so many others who deserved to still be here more then he did.

He keeps walking for a minute. Then stops. And he just can't stop what comes next, no matter, how hard he tries. It just comes. It'd been something Pokey had wanted to say for a couple of months anyway, and it was happening here and now whether he liked it or not.

He turns back to Lucas for a moment, then speaks.]

I'm sorry. I know that means absolutely nothing, and I don't expect any real kind of reply, or understanding or acceptance of it. But I am sorry.

[And he'll quickly turn around to keep moving. He has to leave. Now.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

[That was unexpected. But his natural instinct, the core of his being, the power that had always lent him strength, responds without hesitation, calling out quietly before Porky can leave.]

I accept it. . . . I forgive you.

[He does. He can forgive this person, this child who had not yet become the monster that would remorselessly commit those unforgivable crimes. This boy who, once selfish through and through, was finally beginning to grasp hold of what it was he had never had. Love was the most important thing in the world. He believed this. Completely and absolutely.

Could he forgive Porky Minch? . . . He didn't know. If they ever met again, maybe he would be able to say. But what he would like to be able to feel and what he really feels - those are two different things. He had never claimed to be perfect.

Could he forgive Pokey Minch? Yes. Yes, he could. To forgive someone who had not yet wronged him and who, now, would likely never wrong him. It was simple as that.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Pokey stops. Dead. And he just stands there, shaking slightly, still not facing Lucas. He has to resist the urge to immediately shout at the other boy, to call him a moron. Because even if he hadn't done it yet, there was still so much he had done. That he was still going to do, that traditionally would probably be fairly bad even if he was doing it for somewhat different reasons. Trying to use what he had always had now to try and force a way out for everyone instead of just himself. The idea of actually being forgiven had never occurred to him. Pokey didn't know if he could accept that.

But he beats it down. His urge to just get angry. What does he say to that? Thank you? Does he say anything at all?

In the end, he just opts for something simple.]

...Alright. I'll see you when I see you, I guess.

[Before he's off again. Faster now, trying to beat it before Lucas might have something else to say.]

[a-gentle-boy.livejournal.com]

. . . Bye.

[Lucas will simply stare after Pokey for a few seconds before reaching in his pocket to dig out the yo-yo again. A moment of contemplation passes before he leans forward and slowly begins to throw the toy up and down.]