![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceasetoexist[Pokey didn’t have an alarm clock, because honestly he didn’t tend to care if he woke up on time or not. He usually woke up at the same time anyway, his body having hardwired it as the time to get up in general, and he followed.
Today, he woke up earlier because of the harsh burning sensation at his face and throat. He didn’t scream, but rather made a set of harsh, ragged breathing noises as he patted and scratched at his face. Yes. It was there. Yes. There was nothing on it. A dream then. That made the most sense. It had to have been a bad dream. He laughed, raggedly a bit, at his own delusion.
Because certainly, Miss Kyrie wouldn’t have done that. He knew, always knew, there were people willing to use him, cheat him, and hurt him. That was a fact of life. But he knew Miss Kyrie wasn’t one of them. He just…he laughs. It’s silly. It’s so stupid and silly and Pokey can’t believe he’d even consider she would. He’ll just go and get breakfast after he gets dressed and…
Pokey stopped, dead center, as he went to get his suit on. There, on the shirt, was pinned the four-leaf clover pin Kyrie had had. Had been going to pin to his suit, before she dropped it and-
Goddammit. God. Dammit. It was real. She did it. She killed him. She did it so calmly and she just reached over and killed him and Pokey keeps playing that over and over again so that he doesn’t realize his legs have given in and he’s kneeling on the floor, panting heavily, trying to gain control.
He stays there, on the floor, for quite awhile. Just trying to gain control, entirely unaware that he was practically hunched over his suit, hugging it, nearly bawling into it. All he heard was Kyrie’s voice, just so calm, and collected, as she killed him. But she wouldn’t….she couldn’t have wanted to hurt him, right? Right. She cared about him. She did. This…she just did it to protect him.
That’s it. There was something worse there, and she…she just had to kill him first, because the death he otherwise would’ve suffered would’ve been a lot worse. That made sense. He had walked into a lose/lose situation, that’s all. She still cared about him. Kyrie, in fact, had saved Pokey. That had to be it! That was the answer!
Now he just…just needed to get ready for his day. And then Pokey would be fine. And he should…should tell everyone to stay away from the highway. That was the lesson Kyrie had taught him, right?
He had to show her he was good learner.]
[Phone]
[There’s just a pause for a moment, and light breathing. Like Pokey had forgotten what to say. So, he said, the first thing that came to mind. It didn’t even really make sense. It was just what first came up.]
I hate this place.
[And then, louder, stronger.]
I hate this place and I hate you!
[Again. This time, his voice cracks. Entirely. Uncontrollably. The rage that was there earlier gives way and disappears. There’s no anger, just fear and despair.]
I HATE THIS PLACE AND I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!
[And then he just sobs, once, before shutting that shit up, breathing into the phone again. He didn’t even know why he said that. Right. Calm down. Say what you meant to say.]
…Don’t go on the highway. It isn’t worth it. We’re better off getting some kind of defense started in town if something comes this way.
[Filtered to Ushiromiya Kyrie]
[…He has no clue if you’re going to answer, Kyrie. In fact, he doesn’t know if you’re still angry with him. And in his mind, you have every right to be. Of course. Even when it’s a parental figure and not a real parent, he just fails. He has to make things right. Yes. Even if she’s angry, let her know he got the message.]
I understand.
I-
I-
I’m sorry….
[It’s so unnatural saying that, trying to say that. Only because he usually doesn’t say it. Not because you’re the one who killed him Kyrie.]
[After that, a very shaky, paranoid Pokey can be found doin a few things around town today.]
A. Beefing his Defenses Around his House
[It’s been awhile since he’s done this, but you’ll find a fat blue kid building what appears to be a Sentry, thanks in part to being taught by BLU Engie awhile back. Unlike his first failed attempts, he’s actually getting pretty good at making them.
Of course, the quality of this one could still be questionable, considering the frantic pace he’s trying to assemble them. Still somewhat focused, but he’s clearly working off fear.]
B. Walking Around Town
[Clear his head. Pokey needs to clear his head.
So have a very nervous, scared twelve year old kid just walking around. At times, he stops and looks around, like a small animal that knows it’s being stalked. And he practically jumps out of his skin when even an animal approaches him.
The idea of calming himself down with a walk clearly isn’t working.]
C. Last Resort
[If, for any reason, you happen to be in the Church today, you’ll find Pokey in one of the back pews, trying to hunch himself down. Both in trying to hide, and in prayer. And for someone trying to hide the fact he’s reduced himself to begging in a way he’d have insulted before? He isn’t doing a good job. If you go close to the boy, you’ll hear his pathetic little plea.]
Help me. Please. I know I don’t deserve it but something anything please. Not again. Just…not again please not again I can’t take it I hate it I’ll do anything. Please.
Today, he woke up earlier because of the harsh burning sensation at his face and throat. He didn’t scream, but rather made a set of harsh, ragged breathing noises as he patted and scratched at his face. Yes. It was there. Yes. There was nothing on it. A dream then. That made the most sense. It had to have been a bad dream. He laughed, raggedly a bit, at his own delusion.
Because certainly, Miss Kyrie wouldn’t have done that. He knew, always knew, there were people willing to use him, cheat him, and hurt him. That was a fact of life. But he knew Miss Kyrie wasn’t one of them. He just…he laughs. It’s silly. It’s so stupid and silly and Pokey can’t believe he’d even consider she would. He’ll just go and get breakfast after he gets dressed and…
Pokey stopped, dead center, as he went to get his suit on. There, on the shirt, was pinned the four-leaf clover pin Kyrie had had. Had been going to pin to his suit, before she dropped it and-
Goddammit. God. Dammit. It was real. She did it. She killed him. She did it so calmly and she just reached over and killed him and Pokey keeps playing that over and over again so that he doesn’t realize his legs have given in and he’s kneeling on the floor, panting heavily, trying to gain control.
He stays there, on the floor, for quite awhile. Just trying to gain control, entirely unaware that he was practically hunched over his suit, hugging it, nearly bawling into it. All he heard was Kyrie’s voice, just so calm, and collected, as she killed him. But she wouldn’t….she couldn’t have wanted to hurt him, right? Right. She cared about him. She did. This…she just did it to protect him.
That’s it. There was something worse there, and she…she just had to kill him first, because the death he otherwise would’ve suffered would’ve been a lot worse. That made sense. He had walked into a lose/lose situation, that’s all. She still cared about him. Kyrie, in fact, had saved Pokey. That had to be it! That was the answer!
Now he just…just needed to get ready for his day. And then Pokey would be fine. And he should…should tell everyone to stay away from the highway. That was the lesson Kyrie had taught him, right?
He had to show her he was good learner.]
[Phone]
[There’s just a pause for a moment, and light breathing. Like Pokey had forgotten what to say. So, he said, the first thing that came to mind. It didn’t even really make sense. It was just what first came up.]
I hate this place.
[And then, louder, stronger.]
I hate this place and I hate you!
[Again. This time, his voice cracks. Entirely. Uncontrollably. The rage that was there earlier gives way and disappears. There’s no anger, just fear and despair.]
I HATE THIS PLACE AND I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!
[And then he just sobs, once, before shutting that shit up, breathing into the phone again. He didn’t even know why he said that. Right. Calm down. Say what you meant to say.]
…Don’t go on the highway. It isn’t worth it. We’re better off getting some kind of defense started in town if something comes this way.
[Filtered to Ushiromiya Kyrie]
[…He has no clue if you’re going to answer, Kyrie. In fact, he doesn’t know if you’re still angry with him. And in his mind, you have every right to be. Of course. Even when it’s a parental figure and not a real parent, he just fails. He has to make things right. Yes. Even if she’s angry, let her know he got the message.]
I understand.
I-
I-
I’m sorry….
[It’s so unnatural saying that, trying to say that. Only because he usually doesn’t say it. Not because you’re the one who killed him Kyrie.]
[After that, a very shaky, paranoid Pokey can be found doin a few things around town today.]
A. Beefing his Defenses Around his House
[It’s been awhile since he’s done this, but you’ll find a fat blue kid building what appears to be a Sentry, thanks in part to being taught by BLU Engie awhile back. Unlike his first failed attempts, he’s actually getting pretty good at making them.
Of course, the quality of this one could still be questionable, considering the frantic pace he’s trying to assemble them. Still somewhat focused, but he’s clearly working off fear.]
B. Walking Around Town
[Clear his head. Pokey needs to clear his head.
So have a very nervous, scared twelve year old kid just walking around. At times, he stops and looks around, like a small animal that knows it’s being stalked. And he practically jumps out of his skin when even an animal approaches him.
The idea of calming himself down with a walk clearly isn’t working.]
C. Last Resort
[If, for any reason, you happen to be in the Church today, you’ll find Pokey in one of the back pews, trying to hunch himself down. Both in trying to hide, and in prayer. And for someone trying to hide the fact he’s reduced himself to begging in a way he’d have insulted before? He isn’t doing a good job. If you go close to the boy, you’ll hear his pathetic little plea.]
Help me. Please. I know I don’t deserve it but something anything please. Not again. Just…not again please not again I can’t take it I hate it I’ll do anything. Please.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
[Phone!]
Date: 2011-03-21 03:41 pm (UTC)Just a little piece of advice... No matter how temporary it seems, abandon that hatred before it completely consumes you.
I've been there, and you... really don't want to follow that path.
[Phone!]
Date: 2011-03-21 03:48 pm (UTC)[The nervousness and terror that had previously been in Pokey's voice momentarily gives way to agitation.]
There's nothing wrong with a little....little hatred.
[Phone!]
Date: 2011-03-21 04:00 pm (UTC)[...ha. Was he really calling himself human again? Even after all that happened... Well, whatever. He technically was one here, anyway.]
Just... don't let it continue to grow. You'll only end up hurting yourself in the long run.
[Phone!]
Date: 2011-03-21 04:13 pm (UTC)[A bit of bitterness, there.]
Ha. Ha. Yeah, whatever.