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ceasetoexist[Pokey wasn't exactly the best he could be emotionally. In fact, he never was, but the last week hadn't helped matters at all. Having some of the worst parts of himself thrown at him by the doppelgangers of people he knew and had come to care about, to shrinking for a day (which was probably the easiest of the things he went through), to thinking the few friends he had left might be dead had put an additional strain on him he couldn't really deal with. Since then, he had tried to be as scarce as possible, only occasionally leaving the house or bothering to respond to anything on the phone.
On Friday, he didn't leave the house at all.
On Saturday and Sunday, he won't even leave his room. In fact, it'd be hard to tell unless you checked to see if he was in the room at all, considering he seemed absurdly quiet in comparison to how he usually was.
He won't bother to appear again in town until Monday, when, oddly enough, he'll show up not just for school, but early for class.]
[Action - Mayfield High]
[Seeing Pokey bother to attend school isn't particularly odd. He plays hooky often, but he'd still show up. Usually to be obnoxious to the teachers or other students, or to pointlessly end up just falling asleep in classes.
Today? He's unusually polite. The teachers will find he's incredibly attentive, answers questions correctly and without screwing around, and sits quietly, doing absolutely nothing disruptive. For the moment? He could be an ideal student.
At lunch, he sits by himself. Which isn't out of the ordinary either. He'd usually try and sit by himself. But this time? He's tucked himself away in one of the further corners of the lunchroom, like he's trying to hide.]
[Action - Library]
[There's a boy going through each one of the books he can find. He takes one down, reads it for a little bit, and then puts it back. He does this repeatedly, methodically, almost instictively.
Sometimes, he seems to shift his glances to a certain area of the library: a specific table, or spot on the floor. And just stares for a minute or two, not noticing anything else going on around him. After a moment of this weird staring, he returns to the book he has in hand.]
[Action - Park]
[Pokey paces around the park. There's no real pattern to his exact movements, but he does seem to gravitate towards certain spots that he walks over to again and again and again. He mumbles to himself sometimes, low and usually inaudible. Sometimes it sounds like he's just grumbling. Other times, it sounds like he's imitating something someone has said to him. And others? It just sounds like he's talking to himself, saying things, mulling over things, that don't really make sense to anyone but him.
Sometimes he picks up a branch from the ground and swishes it around aimlessly, not particularly caring if he hits someone or not.
He isn't here right now.]
[Action - 502 Ricardo]
[Pokey can be found sitting at the table, studying. Not goofing off. Not having put something else in his actual textbook and reading that instead. Genuine studying and doing the homework he's been assigned, not making a single noise or distraction. Just being a good little student.
The trashcan in the kitchen seems to have been filled up, mainly with notebook paper and graph paper, detailing designs of odd little devices Pokey had thought up on his spare time. Detailing notes and ideas he had had about the town.
There was no point in keeping them. He didn't really need them any more.]
On Friday, he didn't leave the house at all.
On Saturday and Sunday, he won't even leave his room. In fact, it'd be hard to tell unless you checked to see if he was in the room at all, considering he seemed absurdly quiet in comparison to how he usually was.
He won't bother to appear again in town until Monday, when, oddly enough, he'll show up not just for school, but early for class.]
[Action - Mayfield High]
[Seeing Pokey bother to attend school isn't particularly odd. He plays hooky often, but he'd still show up. Usually to be obnoxious to the teachers or other students, or to pointlessly end up just falling asleep in classes.
Today? He's unusually polite. The teachers will find he's incredibly attentive, answers questions correctly and without screwing around, and sits quietly, doing absolutely nothing disruptive. For the moment? He could be an ideal student.
At lunch, he sits by himself. Which isn't out of the ordinary either. He'd usually try and sit by himself. But this time? He's tucked himself away in one of the further corners of the lunchroom, like he's trying to hide.]
[Action - Library]
[There's a boy going through each one of the books he can find. He takes one down, reads it for a little bit, and then puts it back. He does this repeatedly, methodically, almost instictively.
Sometimes, he seems to shift his glances to a certain area of the library: a specific table, or spot on the floor. And just stares for a minute or two, not noticing anything else going on around him. After a moment of this weird staring, he returns to the book he has in hand.]
[Action - Park]
[Pokey paces around the park. There's no real pattern to his exact movements, but he does seem to gravitate towards certain spots that he walks over to again and again and again. He mumbles to himself sometimes, low and usually inaudible. Sometimes it sounds like he's just grumbling. Other times, it sounds like he's imitating something someone has said to him. And others? It just sounds like he's talking to himself, saying things, mulling over things, that don't really make sense to anyone but him.
Sometimes he picks up a branch from the ground and swishes it around aimlessly, not particularly caring if he hits someone or not.
He isn't here right now.]
[Action - 502 Ricardo]
[Pokey can be found sitting at the table, studying. Not goofing off. Not having put something else in his actual textbook and reading that instead. Genuine studying and doing the homework he's been assigned, not making a single noise or distraction. Just being a good little student.
The trashcan in the kitchen seems to have been filled up, mainly with notebook paper and graph paper, detailing designs of odd little devices Pokey had thought up on his spare time. Detailing notes and ideas he had had about the town.
There was no point in keeping them. He didn't really need them any more.]
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no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:20 am (UTC)I've come to terms with it. It doesn't matter anymore.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:37 am (UTC)It does when you're reminded all the time that no matter what you do, even if you aren't the best but still good? It still can never be good enough.
Other people aren't me. What I do is all I was ever meant to do. When I try to do anything else, it fails. When I try to do what I'm meant to do, it fails. So whatever.
[He just starts gathering his books, quickly.]
See you tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:56 am (UTC)[That's all she'll say before she turns to walk back to her desk.]
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 04:58 am (UTC)For anything. For anyone.
For people I...know.
[By know, he means cares about. But he can't bring himself to say that out loud. Especially not to Susan.]
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:05 am (UTC)What else can I really do?
I don't have the talent to learn anything else, or the patience, and in the end? I'd just get them hurt.
It's best if I just sink in and leave.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:10 am (UTC)Or at least, if they do care about arbitrary values of worth, you are good enough for them.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:14 am (UTC)That doesn't change the fact that I still just screw things up royally.
It isn't even a worth thing, really, as much as what's best.
I just want to do something decent for once. And maybe going away and making sure my crap doesn't follow will do that.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 05:26 am (UTC)I will.
Thanks for bothering to even talk to me, I guess.
[And he'll be heading on out of the room without another word.]
no subject
Date: 2011-11-07 11:12 pm (UTC)