46 - Event Stage 4 - Phone

[ceasetoexist]

You know something? Since the rest of you are all letting crap off your chest? Yeah, there's something I gotta say. And I've thought it a lot, but I've never said it. And I think I oughta.

[A small beat. Then...]

I deserve to be here. With all the evil junk I've done, yeah. I belong here. Cause I'm a dangerous little nutbag.

And I have done a whole lot of evil junk back home. Like, I bet I've done a lot more then a lot of the villains here have done. And there's a lot of villains here. For starters, back home I:

[No one can see it, but he starts counting off on fingers as he lists his accomplishments into the phone. It's almost rhythmic, how he's speaking.]

Helped a cult try and perform a human sacrifice.

Conned a business mogul into helping alien invaders try and kill my next door neighbor and his friends, who had been chosen to save the world.

Had been working with said alien invaders to help conquer and ultimately destroy the planet.

Aaaaand when that didn't work out I decided to run away into different time periods like a loser in the time machine I stole.

That's pretty much it for the things back home, aside from all the times I've lied, cheated, or stolen something, which was a lot. Here, I've pretty much lied, cheated, and stolen a lot too. Haven't gotten to do much evil aside from destroy a lot of public property because of my anger issues like a cry baby, aaaaand I've killed the drone of my best friend here. Twice. And that dork with the glasses during the whole letter thing. Which I felt bad about but I mustn't really of since I still did it anyway even if the killing blow was an accident. Because me doing anything right is a long shot anyway.

So yeah. Kinda deserve this, or any punishment I get.

Comments

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Oh. It's you.

Wonderful.

So how've you been? Killing anymore people just trying to be left alone?

[Because hitting you in the back of the head with a wrench was clearly the correct course of action.]

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Hitting anymore people with wrenches?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

No you're the only person who's had that honor.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

I'm touched. Or angry, one of the other..

Well you're the only one I've killed here. So I guess you have that honour too.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I have a higher kill count huh? Well that must sting.

So if you hated this guy why didn't you just kill him yourself?

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Not really. I don't actually care.

I have to live with him. And Caroline won't let me just slit his throat every morning.

[....damn it.]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Who's Caroline?

One of the kids they saddled in your house?

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

A part of me. She's who I used to be before they shoved my mind into a computer.

Now that I remember her, she likes to act as my conscience.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

What, so you weren't always a computer?

....Yeah. Those kind of suck.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

No I was an assistant to the head of Aperture Science. He wanted me to run the place when he died so he ordered the scientists to put my mind in a machine.

....they really do. It's like having another voice in your head. Only this time it's not one of the cores they stuck in my mind.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Sucks to be you.

A naggy, whiny voice. And you can't really ignore it.

I don't know if I actually hate it.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Do you have a conscience now too?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

How did you get yours?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

...It started when I made my first friend last July. It was small, and usually not there, but being friends with her planted the seed for it and it just...kept growing. And growing. Like a weed. And I couldn't kill it.

And more people came and it just kept growing.

I think it settled in fully in March. After the Dairy thing.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Are you afraid of your conscience?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

No. More like angry at it. For proving me wrong.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

How did it do that?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Because I realized that everything I had been doing? That I thought was the right way to get things? Was stupid. And it would've been so much easier if I had a conscience in the first place. To do anything.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

...it's never fun to realize things like that.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Well that was unexpected.]

This place is stupid in general.

I guess I'm just using that as an excuse for everything I've done here, though.

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

That's not uncommon.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Probably not. Most people don't want to admit when they're actually wrong.

....Why does this keep happening?

[getsciencedone.livejournal.com]

Why does what, keep happening?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

The whole thing with me getting killed by someone, then eventually having civil conversations with them.

It's annoying.